I’ve always been told that I am sensitive, emotional and stubborn. I don’t know if my hypersensitivity as a constant in my life is a good thing or a bad thing but I know it is something that has always been with me.
Hey guys, my name is Sarah-Kathleen Collins with bp Magazine and bphope.com and this Vlog is going to be on dealing with sensitivity when having bipolar.
So I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been told that I am sensitive, emotional and stubborn. At first when I was a child it was ‘you’re just like your mother’ or ‘you’re just like your grandmother’. Then it developed into ‘she’s just being a moody teenager’ or ‘she’s just going through that phase’ even ‘she always overreacts’. Now it is I have a mental illness and I have Bipolar II. Whilst they aren’t an excuse- rather a reason and my reality, symptoms and my struggle, I don’t know if my hypersensitivity as a constant in my life is a good thing or a bad thing but I know it is something that has always been with me.
To be honest with you: I hate being so sensitive.
I often refer to it as a switch that someone else controls over me. The smallest of situations, words or actions do trigger me. Sometimes for reasons I know and others I don’t. I am a very good friend with ultradian cycling. What annoys me most about my switch is that it very often gets flicked when I am doing well often causing relapses. I can be feeling amazing and I generally think I am ok. But then it happens. I cannot stop crying, I begin to shake uncontrollably and it gets hard to breathe. There are too many of these moments too count.
For me, I either feel everything or nothing at all. There is no in between. So when that switch gets flicked, it goes from zero to one hundred or minus one hundred real quick!
That millisecond of difference that can turn a good day bad or a bad day even worse, makes me furious.
There are a couple of ways I deal with this – The first is physical exercise in the form of training for powerlifting. I can walk into the gym feeling horrible but within five minutes I feel myself again. The second is just ranting to my best friends, not to find an answer to my problem rather to just get it off my chest. It is really about taking charge of your mental health to find the things that make you feel good.
So my question for you is: How do you manage the unpredictability of having bipolar and being “too sensitive”?
Let us know what helps you and leave a comment in the section below and we can get the conversation going! Take care and remember you are brave and you are loved, thanks for watching.
via bpHope – bp Magazine Community