March 12, 2017 at 05:31PM
For a girl with social anxiety
growing up in the age of Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter, social media has
always been a double-edged sword. Torn between the sites that bring me a sense
of calmness and security and the addictive apps that cause me distress, going
through short periods of no social media has been a common occurrence.
Sitting in
the library on a Monday night, the large building is noticeably empty. Tables
that students fight over during the day are empty, and the few dedicated people
are hard at work to get into the nursing program or finish solving an organic
chemistry equation. I, on the other hand, don’t need to be there. With no
classes the following day, the majority of my university was at some sort of
party or watching The Bachelor. I didn’t have any assignments due the next day,
or a test I desperately needed to study for. However, I did have invitations.
Invitations to go to a party, invitations to watch The Bachelor, invitations to
do anything besides spending the night surrounded by books. My social anxiety
prevented me from accepting any of these offers, and I was content with my
decision. Yet when I opened Snapchat and Instagram, I was bombarded with pictures
of my friends laughing, having fun, and criticizing Nick’s latest decision on
The Bachelor. My anxiety returned, yet this time in a totally different way. Am
I missing out? Should I have said yes anyways? Do people think I’m lame for not
posting anything? Millions of self-deprecating thoughts ran through my mind,
and the myriad Snapchat stories continuously posted fueled my anxiety. This is
just one example of the many times my social anxiety has prevented me from
opportunities, and social media has been there to dig the knife in deeper.
Though the
Internet has driven my anxiety further, it has also helped to expose new
outlets and communities. Through The Mighty, I’ve been able to find others who
struggle with the same issues as I do, and read about their own experiences. It
has allowed me to accept how my brain functions and realize that it’s not
something to be scared or ashamed of; I’m only as “different” as I perceive
myself to be. The articles and stories I’ve read about the struggles of anxiety
have helped me recognize that my condition is real, rational, and can be
improved. Social media has allowed me to share my stories with others, and to
find a home with those whose have similar experiences. The double-edged sword
of social media has hurt me and helped me, yet I can’t imagine living a life
without the community that I’ve found within The Mighty. Without social media
and The Mighty, I don’t know where I would be in my battle with anxiety.
via The Mighty
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