People with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) have a complicated relationship with time. ADHD-ers often suffer from a “time blindness” that makes time difficult to measure. It can make both everything and nothing seem urgent. Today, I would like to address this “now or never” aspect of our time-blindness.
Delayed Gratification When Everything Is Urgent
When I really want to do something, I feel a strong urge to do it right away. Delaying gratification is very difficult. “Later” feels like “never.” For example, if I want to watch a movie (I love movies), I feel as though I need an immediate fix and get really excited if I’m able to watch it. Obviously, I often have to wait. By the time I watch the movie, I may have already lost interest in that particular film and moved on to another interest.
These strong urges that are difficult to control result in what is often described as “poor impulse control,” and many people with ADHD are susceptible to drug and alcohol addiction because of this impulsivity, amongst other reasons. On a quest for dopamine and serotonin, an ADHD brain responds even more strongly than a non-ADHD brain to pleasure and urgency.
Urgency Can Result in Both Productivity and Poor Planning
This “now or never” sense of time does not mean people with ADHD are necessarily unproductive, but it does make planning difficult. If one is living in the “now” stage, everything is urgent. Someone might wash the dishes before noticing the floor is dirty. After sweeping the floor, the person notices a magazine on the table. She reads the magazine until spotting a pile of magazines that need to be put away—the list goes on. There is little sense of “I’ll do this later” because the fear is “I’ll do this later—and that ‘later’ will never come!”
Much of this behavior is due to ADHD’s inherent unreliability. I do not know whether an idea or fact will stick in my head for years or if I will forget to do something extremely important. Also, as mentioned, my interest in a task or hobby might dissipate at an unknown time. Then I will not get the same pleasure from doing the task. Perhaps I will do it while frustrated and bored, or I will not do it at all.
How to Deal with a “Now or Never” Attitude
One way I deal with this sense of urgency is by writing things down. I journal about how much I love something and write down tasks and ideas. It is especially helpful to have a single place to write things down, though I know this is difficult for a lot of people with ADHD. Often, I have to trick myself into doing something I don’t want. It might mean making a game of a chore, rewarding myself, or creating a comfortable and stimulating work space. Additionally, my medication usually calms me and helps with impulse control.
What are your experiences and tips for dealing with this sense of urgency? Please let me know in the comments below!
- Tartakovsky, Margarita. “Cutting Down on Chronic Lateness for Adults with ADHD.” Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/04/01/cutting-down-on-chronic-lateness-for-adults-with-adhd/
- Sherman, Carl. “The Truth About ADHD and Addiction.” ADDitude. https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/
- Littman, Ellen. “Never Enough? Why Your Brain Craves Stimulation.” ADDitude. https://www.additudemag.com/brain-stimulation-and-adhd-cravings-addiction-and-regulation/
by Noelle Matteson
via Living with Adult ADHD – HealthyPlace