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hopetocope.com | Hope To Cope With Anxiety & Depression: Timing: A Critical Skill For Maintaining Relationships

7/31/2019

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by Carol L. Rickard

When it comes to communication, a good time for us to talk may not also be a good time for others. So, before you try to talk to someone, take a second and make sure it’s a good time for them––if not, you can always go back later.


Has this ever happened to you:

You’re right in the middle of doing something when someone asked you a question or wanted to talk?

I was reminded of this critical skill this past weekend.

I was working out at the gym when I saw a colleague running on the treadmill. The thing I noticed: she had her headphones on.

As I started to approach her to share with her the information she’d requested, I stopped & asked myself the question I used to teach all my patients:

Is now a good time?

The answer: NO!

She’s in the middle of her workout… I would be interrupting her.

One of the MOST important skills we need in order to have good relationships has to do with…

TIMING!

I was just smiling as I typed that word. I suddenly had a memory of one of my patients whose ONLY timing was hers!

What I mean by that is she’d say whatever it was she had to say WHENEVER she wanted to say it…

It was your responsible to listen to her when she spoke!

This timing concept was very hard for her to understand AND to put in to practice. Mostly because this is what she’d done all her life.

It started out when she was just a child.

She shared her parents divorced when she was 5 & she lived with her mother. So, she was never quite sure when she’d get to see her father again.

That led to her telling everything when she did see him. She didn’t want to lose the chance when she actually had it… not knowing WHEN she might get another one.

Here’s how to put this LifeTOOL in to practice:

Step 1 – Before you start a conversation with anyone: PAUSE for a moment.

Step 2 – Ask yourself this question: “Is now a good time?”

If so, then proceed!

If NOT, then DON’T! Come back later when it’s better timing for that person.

Step 3 – Be patient with yourself! It may take some time to get the hang of it. Change will come if you stick with it. It did for my patient!

~ To Living Well TODAY! ~

The post Timing: A Critical Skill For Maintaining Relationships appeared first on hopetocope.com | Hope To Cope With Anxiety & Depression.



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     Today, NAMI Tulsa is heavily focused on education, support groups, public policy, training, and we have developed lasting relationships with many local, state, and national agencies for the betterment of the care of our mentally ill.

    The views expressed in these columns come from independent sources and are not necessarily the position of NAMI Tulsa. We encourage public engagement in the issues and seek good journalistic sources which advance the discussion for an improved society which fosters recovery from mental health challenges.

    President Steve Baker

    2017 President of NAMI Tulsa.
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