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Esperanza Hope To Cope: This Kind of Talking Can Make Things Worse

9/8/2017

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by Carol L. Rickard

 

I had a woman approach me today after a workshop at the senior’s health
fair to talk about a situation, which was causing her great stress.

She started out sharing how she’d just moved to New Jersey from another
state. (One of the biggest stressors: MOVING)

However, she then went on to share how she’d experienced a very traumatic
event that almost killed her and this event had forced her to move.

As she spoke, about missing her family & feeling scared a lot of the time,
the tears started to flow.

I could see she was in great emotion pain.

It really was a double whammy: the loss with not being near her family AND
the terrifying experience she’d had.

I asked if she was seeing a therapist & was relieved to hear her say: “I call
her every week.”

Having spent many years working in women’s trauma programs, I was well
aware of a person’s tendency to want to talk about WHAT HAPPENED.

I encouraged her to not focus on the situation or the details of what
happened, but rather THE FEELINGS she was experiencing because of it.

IMPORTANT:

When we talk about situations & details --
it can make things worse….

How?

Because it can actually stir up the FEELINGS even more.

It’s kind of like throwing gasoline on a fire — it blows up bigger!

The talking that is most important to do: THE FEELINGS about the situation.

Slowly over time, the power those feelings can hold over us, starts to lessen.

Another way to think about it: we slowly start to loosen the grip the
feelings have on us.

If you don’t have a therapist or even a good support person you can do this with,
using the LifeTOOL Brain Dumping is another alternative.

Click here if you don’t know what it is!

~ To Living Well TODAY! ~

 



via Esperanza – Hope To Cope
(This and our other articles are provided by some of our curated resources. We encourage readers to support them and continue to look to these sources in times of need and opportunity.)
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     Today, NAMI Tulsa is heavily focused on education, support groups, public policy, training, and we have developed lasting relationships with many local, state, and national agencies for the betterment of the care of our mentally ill.

    The views expressed in these columns come from independent sources and are not necessarily the position of NAMI Tulsa. We encourage public engagement in the issues and seek good journalistic sources which advance the discussion for an improved society which fosters recovery from mental health challenges.

    President Steve Baker

    2017 President of NAMI Tulsa.
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