I had a woman approach me today after a workshop at the senior’s health
fair to talk about a situation, which was causing her great stress.
She started out sharing how she’d just moved to New Jersey from another
state. (One of the biggest stressors: MOVING)
However, she then went on to share how she’d experienced a very traumatic
event that almost killed her and this event had forced her to move.
As she spoke, about missing her family & feeling scared a lot of the time,
the tears started to flow.
I could see she was in great emotion pain.
It really was a double whammy: the loss with not being near her family AND
the terrifying experience she’d had.
I asked if she was seeing a therapist & was relieved to hear her say: “I call
her every week.”
Having spent many years working in women’s trauma programs, I was well
aware of a person’s tendency to want to talk about WHAT HAPPENED.
I encouraged her to not focus on the situation or the details of what
happened, but rather THE FEELINGS she was experiencing because of it.
IMPORTANT:
When we talk about situations & details --
it can make things worse….
How?
Because it can actually stir up the FEELINGS even more.
It’s kind of like throwing gasoline on a fire — it blows up bigger!
The talking that is most important to do: THE FEELINGS about the situation.
Slowly over time, the power those feelings can hold over us, starts to lessen.
Another way to think about it: we slowly start to loosen the grip the
feelings have on us.
If you don’t have a therapist or even a good support person you can do this with,
using the LifeTOOL Brain Dumping is another alternative.
Click here if you don’t know what it is!
~ To Living Well TODAY! ~
via Esperanza – Hope To Cope
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