I was listening to NPR on my way somewhere this weekend and they had a woman & her husband as part of the Story Corps segment.
They were sharing their story of returning home after they had to flee in one of the California wildfires.
They first spoke of the time, when they had to leave, gathering up important items and then driving off with a wall of red sky looming behind them.
Upon being able to return, they drove through part of a neighborhood they recognized but where homes were intermittently left standing.
One home would have been totally destroyed and burnt to the ground, while the one next to it was still completely okay.
But when they pulled on to their street, it was difficult to even know where they were because EVERYTHING was gone…
Even so, they spent time sifting through what had been their home, looking for any little thing that might have survived.
She went on to describe how sometimes she looks back on that search and wonders ‘Did I miss something?’
Listening to them, I was reminded of the times in my life when I’d experienced tragic loss. It took me many years to learn the LifeTOOL I’m about to share.
The key for healing from loss is really two-fold:
- Honor ALL the feelings that come up. It’s important to talk & write about the anger, sadness, hurt, or any other feelings and not ignore they are there. Focus on feelings and NOT the details of the situation.
- Stay in the PRESENT. This can be difficult to do which is why I like to say that healing is work (It’s also why people stay stuck & don’t move on).
If you find yourself struggling, working with a therapist is a good next step because they can help guide you on this healing journey.
For those of us not experiencing the loss, the role we play in healing is just as critical.
Providing support simply means we make it known:
“I am here for YOU when you need me.”
There is no going back to what was… only moving forward.
It’s important a person know they are not alone as they move forward.
~ To Living Well TODAY! ~
via Esperanza – Hope To Cope
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