When your behavior is self-defeating it could mean a conflict between your subconscious and conscious beliefs; here’s more:
When we do certain things to the detriment of helping ourselves, the reason for this self-sabotaging behavior may not be immediate apparent. For example, you could have slept in and were late for an important job interview, or you procrastinated and didn’t get ready on time. Analyse your actions. Why did you procrastinate, making you late for your interview? Were you consciously aware that you were doing these behaviors knowing you should be doing something else, or was it completely subconscious?
Listen to inner dialogue
Think back to your inner dialogue about what made you late. What was going through your head; for example, did you have conscious thoughts of not wanting to go to your interview? Then try and identify your subconscious beliefs as to why you’re not wanting to get selected for the job i.e. are you afraid? Maybe if you get this job, you’ll have to move or you don’t want to leave your friends you have at your current job.
Reframe your intention
It is possible to break your self-sabotaging cycle by creating a positive dialogue that counteracts the root cause. For example, think to yourself “I may be afraid of success now, but that’s just because it’s something completely new for me, but I’m going to excel at this“ and “I’ll make a point of staying in touch with my friends from work.”
via Esperanza – Hope To Cope
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