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Esperanza Hope To Cope: How to Deal with Family DramaWithout Intensifying Anxiety

11/28/2018

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by Carol L. Rickard

When dealing with a family issue, it may help to write a note documenting all communications to avoid the stress of continuing miscommunications

 

Let’s face it: even in the healthiest of families there are times when communications get misinterpreted!

Oftentimes, this miscommunication can lead to big disagreements and can escalate from there to where one person is not talking to the other.

I have a co-worker who just asked for my input on an idea she had to help address an ongoing situation just like this where she is caught in the middle!

First, a little background on the situation…

She has an older mother who’s been living alone for the past one and a half years since her husband passed away. There’s equal concern amongst her children this situation needs to change. 

Even her mother has reached the point where she doesn’t want to live alone anymore.

So, there are two options on the table: Either move in with her oldest daughter who lives 5 minutes away or move into a senior living complex.

This is where the misinterpretation has taken place!

One sibling thinks the other is purposely trying to sabotage his efforts to get their mother into senior living.

Turns out, this is NOT true…

My co-worker reports it was her mother who decided she wants to move in with her daughter who is 5 minutes away.

The whole situation has escalated to the point where now siblings are not talking to one another.

Now, the brilliant strategy: she has decided to write a letter addressed to all of her siblings, PLUS her mother.

In the letter, she is basically outlining the sequence of events as they truly happened and restating the actual communications that took place…that her mother decided on her own to go live with her oldest daughter because this way she could be close to her friends and keep all her same doctors.

It was short and simple, but most importantly stuck to just the facts of the situation as it truly happened.

Will it fix the miscommunication? Who knows! The most important part is she IS DOING something to try and correct the misinterpretation.

I would recommend this LifeTOOL for any situation where a miscommunication might exist.

You see…

Conversation by phone disappears when you hang up! 

An email or text can be deleted!

A mailed letter keeps the conversation alive & present, giving us the opportunity that the person on the other end may read it over a few different times and it may soak in!

The only change I suggested to my co-worker was she include the letter inside of a card. This can help keep a person’s defenses down a little bit because they aren’t thinking Oh no, what is this letter?

Let me know if you’ve had similar situation you’ve had to deal with.

~ To Living Well TODAY! ~

 



via Esperanza – Hope To Cope
(This and our other articles are provided by some of our curated resources. We encourage readers to support them and continue to look to these sources in times of need and opportunity.)
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     Today, NAMI Tulsa is heavily focused on education, support groups, public policy, training, and we have developed lasting relationships with many local, state, and national agencies for the betterment of the care of our mentally ill.

    The views expressed in these columns come from independent sources and are not necessarily the position of NAMI Tulsa. We encourage public engagement in the issues and seek good journalistic sources which advance the discussion for an improved society which fosters recovery from mental health challenges.

    President Steve Baker

    2017 President of NAMI Tulsa.
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