My life has been in a frenzy lately. I lost my cousin and best friend to cancer. I sold my house after living there 17 years and moved into a one-bedroom basement apartment, and my son was homeless in Florida.

I have always been a fighter. When I left my sons dad many years ago I knew being a single mom wasn’t going to be easy but I was committed to providing my son the best life possible. I didn’t know that I was going to be a single mom raising a bipolar child.

Throughout his life nothing was easy. I seem to have this black cloud that hangs over my head. I keep asking God or any higher power, when do I finally get a break? When is it my time to have happiness? I honestly try to be a good person; don’t I deserve something good in my life? I am so sick of challenges.

It is hard to find your happiness when you know you have a chronically ill child who is refusing treatment and you feel powerless and weak. Week after week my homeless son was ending up in the emergency room with something broken from another accident or becoming sick from not taking care of himself. He was starting to have run ins with the police and hanging out with less than questionable people. No I didn’t sleep much. I was in a constant state of worry.

What is a parent to do? I couldn’t sit back and wait for him to die. It’s not in my DNA not to try to save him from himself.

I knew an inpatient stay at a hospital was not going to fix this. He needed something long term. He needed time to get stabilized and work on developing life skills again. I turned to google and starting looking for long term treatment centers.

I came across an interventionist. I wasn’t sure if it was going to work but I had to give it a try. I truly believe people come into your life for a reason. When I saw his number I immediately recognized it as being from Chicago. What are the odds? I picked up the phone and we had a long conversation about my son. He believed he could help. I was hesitant because I knew how defiant my son was lately but I was willing to try anything. Maybe my son knew he needed help, or maybe he was exhausted from living on the streets but he agreed to meet with him.

Within 24 hours my son was on a plane to a treatment center in California. I can’t even explain to you how fast my heart was racing. I thought it was going to fall out of my chest.

My son arrived at the treatment center and was put through detox and started on medications. I felt like everyone from the center called me to ensure he was in safe hands. I spoke with his counselor and it turned out he was also from Chicago. Talk about weird coincidences. I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. It was nice to be able to rest my head on my pillow and have a good night’s sleep for once.

About 5 days later his counselor called to tell me that the treatment center wasn’t a good fit for him. He needed more mental health help than they could provide. Panic mode set in. I have been to California a couple times but I know nothing about their mental health care. You entrust that the professionals will know how to best treat your child and yet a lot of them don’t so you just have to hope for the best.

My son was on his way to a new treatment facility. Would this be the right answer? Would this be a better fit? The only thing I was confident in was his counselor and he promised he would do whatever it takes to find him a good place.

Ironically, he was also from Chicago. I don’t know if that is strange karma or good luck and only time will tell. I will never give up.

More than half of people with bipolar also have anxiety disorder. Just as symptoms overlap, so do coping techniques. Here are six to try today.

#1 Get adequate sleep

Sleep irregularities can have a negative impact on people with bipolar disorder even between mood episodes. Try to follow a regular sleep/wake schedule, avoid alcohol and caffeine prior to bed, keep your bedroom dark and leave electronic devices out of the room.

#2 Increase physical activity

Exercise is an important part of a healthy lifestyle. Beneficial changes occur in the brain following regular exercise and can relieve anxiety or elevate a depressed mood. Studies suggest that even a 10-minute brisk walk may be as good as a long workout to relieve anxiety. If you are not currently physically active, talk to your doctor before beginning an exercise program.

#3 Put down the coffee

Cutting out coffee, or any caffeine for that matter, can help reduce mood swings. Toronto psychiatrist Ayal Schaffer notes that cutting back on caffeine, often recommended for people with bipolar, seems to play an important role in reducing anxiety symptoms. Caffeine is known to cause insomina, which in turn, can help trigger or escalate mania or hypomania.

#4 Practice mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness meditation–stepping outside our regular internal dialogue and simply paying attention–has been shown to improve a broad range of emotional and physical ailments. Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) can been helpful in learning to quiet racing thoughts, say experts.

#5 Deal with self-limiting behavior

When anxiety leads to avoiding social interactions and other fear-provoking situations, sometimes doing the very thing you’re afraid of is the best response. Psychiatrist Ayal Schaffer recommends a similar approach to combat isolation: “Plan at least one activity each day in which you speak to another person, ideally in the morning. Email or text doesn’t count!”

#6 Become your own advocate to receive the best care

Treatment providers are not created equally. “…recent research makes clear that seeking out a good therapist can have powerful effects beyond a mood stabilizer in treating bipolar depression and helping prevent relapse,” says Boston University psychology professor Michael Otto, PhD.

Read more about bipolar and anxiety

via bpHope – bp Magazine Community
http://ift.tt/2f4sVRg

People with bipolar disorder rarely talk about alcohol abuse. The last thing we want to be told is that we have a drinking problem.

Anxiety is usually a big part of bipolar disorder and my meds only help so much. My anxiety would grow throughout the day. I would live with it. I would meditate. I would read and I would watch the cooking channel to relax. But the anxiety always came back. It was ever present.

At the end of each day I would drink. Mostly wine. I didn’t know it at the time but I was drinking to be rid of the anxiety. I would drink until the anxiety was under control and then I would sip to maintain that feeling. I did this all subconsciously.

I would drink alone. It seemed I drank a lot. But instead of a lot, I drank over a several hour period of time, from five till ten p.m. I drank to make my anxiety go away.

This is called self-medicating. I was concerned about being an alcoholic. I had a lot of the signs but I was not addicted. I used alcohol to quiet my anxiety. In that sense I abused it. Not to get drunk, not to forget my troubles, simply to be calm and silence that overwhelming sense of dread in the pit of my stomach.

I say abuse because I was not just a social drinking. I didn’t drink just occasionally. I drank alone and every night. This went on for years and years.

And then one day I stopped. It wasn’t a conscious decision. Just one day my overwhelming anxiety was gone. And with it went  my desire to drink.

I had seen my doctor and she changed my medicine. The new meds reduced the anxiety by 80%. I no longer needed the alcohol to reduce it. I think about that. I think about folks with a mental illness who drink a lot. They too are self-medicating.

People, family and friends mostly, worried about my drinking. My wife gave me a hard time about it. I couldn’t describe why I drank at the time. I just drank. I see now where it looked like I may have been an alcoholic, but inside I knew I wasn’t.

My meds all warned against alcohol use. According to warnings I wasn’t supposed to drink at all. I understand why. Getting drunk makes depression worse. Drinking too much makes sleep more difficult and good sleep is maybe the most important thing we can do for ourselves to help manage our symptoms. Drinking interferes with our meds. Our meds can increase the impact of alcohol on our systems and vice versa.

It would have been helpful for me to have known why I was drinking every day. Knowing that I was drinking to relieve the anxiety could have spurred me to tell the doctor and get on a better med sooner. But I never talked to my doctor about my drinking. When I filled out questionnaires that asked about it, I always said I was drinking less than I was. It was another stigma I did not need. And I knew that I felt better when I drank. I just didn’t know why.

Many of us self-medicate. Most of us don’t want to talk about it. We don’t get drunk so most of us don’t see it as a serious problem. We just know that if we talk about it, we are going to be told to stop. And stopping drinking by itself is not a solution.

I am not here to advocate for drinking. And I am not here to preach and tell you that you have to stop. I am here to say that I drank every night for twenty five years. And one day I was prescribed the right medicine and I stopped. It wasn’t the alcohol I desired. It was the relief from the anxiety. Once I got that relief through medication, I no longer needed to drink.

It turns out I didn’t have a drinking problem. I had an anxiety problem.  

Having strategies to either head off explosive outbursts or stay in control when anger grows is necessary. Here are some ways to help tame that temper.

#1 Identify and act on the warning signs

Recognize the early feelings of irritability, agitation and annoyance before they develop into full-blown anger or aggression. Try and discover why you’re having these feelings by asking yourself: am I upset about something? If so, what is it and why? Did I get enough sleep? Did I take my medication? Am I depressed? This self-awareness can be key to intercepting potential trouble.

#2 Redirect your thoughts

Anger is full of energy and naturally increases your adrenaline, and with that comes a strong urge to act immediately! Redirecting your thoughts takes practice. The old strategy of counting to 10 has endured because it works. For others, singing the words or melody to an inspirational, soothing or funny song does wonders to avert an episode. The trick is to have this go-to refrain at the ready!

#3 Find a positive outlet for your feelings

Some have found that when things escalate, taking a pen to paper (or fingers to a keyboard) to journal these emotions helps. Others find relief by getting out in nature or dancing to favorite music. Physical exercise stimulates feel-good endorphins. Studies prove that when you exercise your brain releases a protein called BDNF, which influences vital functions like staving off accelerated aging, depression and even Alzheimer’s.

#4 Recognize when you are predisposed to becoming angry

When you are feeling irritable and annoyed, this is not the best time to pursue a discussion on a sensitive matter. Often there is no “best time” to discuss such serious topics; however, it helps if you can identify a time during the week when you are at your best to tackle potentially upsetting issues. Sometimes keeping a journal to record your feelings and what you’re doing at the time will help to look for common themes.

#5 Ask family members to participate in helping to manage your anger

Bring family members to your next therapy session and work together to identify collective anger management strategies for these bipolar symptoms. By planning ahead, those closest to you will be able to recognize triggers, and help you cope with potentially volatile situations. The key to any management strategy is to agree on a plan in advance.

#6 Talk with your doctor

There may be medication strategies that can help manage bipolar symptoms that also decrease the intensity and frequency of anger explosions. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you learn and deal with the triggers for angry explosions. It’s also key to remember that sleep is a significant early marker of a shifting mood and can set in motion feelings of irritability.

#7 Consider your health

Studies show that rage can have very serious effects on your health. Anger triggers the release of the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline because our bodies go into a fight or flight response. Over time, elevated levels of stress hormones affect all our body systems, from our immune system to an increased risk for heart disease.

Bipolar disorder and experiencing depression is a disabling and problematic concern for many people, and it happens on a number of levels when living with most mental illnesses. This article focuses on men experiencing depression and mental illness stigma. I am not referring to the blues, or feeling down once in a while, but I actually want focus on men who feel so low that depression is negatively affecting their lives on a daily basis and causing them great concern for their mental health.

Men Dealing with Depression Deserve Understanding and Acceptance

I have many male friends who experience depression, and they confide in me, saying that they have a lot of hardships that brings them great suffering and torment. Men are bred in our society to be the ‘strong’ type and they are told to maintain that ‘stiff upper lip’ when it comes to depression.  This is stigma at its worst, and for far too long, men have been denied the acceptance that they need to be embraced and understood. It is ‘okay’ for men to feel overwhelmed, lost and depressed, and many men assert that they too are affected by concerns such as medication weight gain and self-esteem issues. Men are sometimes expected to be the bread winner of the family and the one who ‘keeps all things together’ for the sake of everyone in their lives. We all need to recognize that men who experience depression are not weak for this reality, but they too are human beings.

For far too long, men have been hiding the fact that they experience depression, and this has led to many unfortunate incidents where numerous men have died by suicide. It is often considered a silent epidemic. Depression carries a high risk of suicide and anybody who expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions should be taken very seriously.

According to Webmd.com, men take their lives nearly four times the rate of women, accounting for 79% of suicides in the U.S.

There is hope in depression and men can be assured that there are ways to cope with their mental anguish and torrid emotions.

Tips for Men Experiencing Bipolar Depression

There are many things that men can do to deal with their depression, which includes the following:

• First and foremost, realize that overcoming and dealing with depression is a team effort
• Patience and persistence is essential for the long haul back to good health, so do not give up
• It is essential to act early and decisively in this situation and not wait for things to get better
• Talking to a friend is often the first step and they can often be a support for you
• Call a health line and consider contacting a crisis line when things seem unbearable
• Definitely consult a doctor because connecting with the right professional services is a key task
• Once you have all the tools you require for dealing with depression, form an action plan and make changes to diet, sleep, physical activity, and interpersonal relationships
• Remember you are not alone.

There is Hope in our Darkest Places

Even in our darkest places, we will eventually realize that there is hope to get through our tragedies and hardships. What may seem hopeless one day, will lead into another, that will assure us that depression does not last forever. When we are in the middle of it, we cannot see the light, but upon reflection, many realize that there is room to grow and learn from our experiences, no matter how bleak and dark. I know this to be true when attempting to fight off the darkness that never seems to end.

Depression is an element of bipolar disorder that we can never escape, but it is truly in reaching out for help that will bring us on a journey of recovery and acceptance that makes it okay to not be okay. It is imperative to know that clinical depression is not always triggered by something in particular, and there is often not a ‘reason’ for the experience. We are plainly dealing with a mental illness that often has no specific logical circumstantial indicator. As we travel through the valleys, we just have to remember than one day, we will once again soar into a place of stability and balance. Taking the first step by reaching out may be the most difficult, but it is also one of the most vital decisions that you will ever have to make.

Keep your heads up guys and know that you too are worthy of understanding, acceptance, and empathy. Never be afraid to ask for the help that you so rightfully deserve.