On March 2, 2017, I became a new parent to our first living child, Pablo Phoenix Wise. It’s been a whole new adjustment ever since. Being a new parent is difficult and challenging for anyone, but especially if you have bipolar disorder. I often wondered what parenting with bipolar would be like, but nothing could prepare me for the reality of having a new baby to love and to care for. It is full of stress, challenges, and joy. But I am succeeding as a new parent with bipolar disorder. I have found being a new parent to a newborn baby has been manageable when I keep the following 5 tips in mind:

 

1. Keep following your medication regimen:
   When you become a new parent is not the time to stop taking your medication. Often times your medication can keep you stable and help you manage the stresses of being a new parent when life seems challenging. If your medications aren’t working for you or you think you need an adjustment during the early months of being a new parent, talk to your doctor. Ask for help. Don’t stop taking your medications without consulting your doctor.
2. Sleep when you can:
   Having a newborn baby makes getting regular sleep very challenging. If you have a partner, take turns sleeping. Nap when the baby naps. Practice good sleep hygiene as much as possible. Lack of sleep could cause mania, so make sure you’re getting as much sleep as you can. If you’re like me and have bipolar disorder as well as a sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, ask family or friends for support. It may be possible for others to feed or change the new baby so that you can get some much needed rest. Ask for help. Sleep when you can.
3. Practice mindfulness or meditation:
   Centering your thoughts and mind is key to eliminating stress. Remaining in the moment and being non-judgmental about situations will be helpful when you feel overwhelmed or stressed as a new parent. Meditate and practice deep breathing. This can also help you with sleep. These techniques can help you cope when you’ve changed your third diaper in a row in a 20 minute period and your baby is still fussy or crying. Remember, this too shall pass.
4. Eat regular meals:
   Be sure to eat, so your body has the ....
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   David Wise

Is it just troublesome behavior or could it be bipolar disorder? Consider these:

 

 

#1 The great imitator

Bipolar in kids can mimic other conditions, such as anxiety disorders, attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder, to name a few. Many mental health professionals agree that the process of diagnosis is difficult given that the disorder is a spectrum of symptoms and severity. Given this, there must be appropriate time given to the diagnosis process, and with great expertise.

 

 

#2 Typical symptoms

The onset of bipolar disorder in children can begin with a severe manic episode, sometimes with psychotic features. Mania can include grandiosity, rapid speech, and a decreased need for sleep. “Mixed-mood” is common in kids with symptoms of both mania and depression, cycling rapidly over a shorter period of time, or even within the same day.

 

 

#3 Trust your instincts

We all have that inner voice that nags at us when something just does feel right. If you are worried that something is “off” with your child’s behavior, trust your instincts. There are aspects of bipolar that are observable, especially is the behavior is something that is developmentally inappropriate or is disrupting life in a profound way. Consider making an appointment for an assessment.

 

 

#4 Track it

Anytime you notice behavior you feel is abnormal for your child, write it down in a journal. Having contemporaneous notes is critical to determine if you see a trend, or it’s just one-off, situational behavior. This type of documentation will be very valuable for an assessment if your child does see a physician because it will provide him or her with a careful recording.

 

 

#5 Look to your child’s educator

If unusual behavior continues, it may be a good idea to have a discussion with your child’s teacher, guidance counselor or school nurse. It could be helpful to learn if the same behavior continues at school, or if it’s just at home. However, just because the same behaviors aren’t being seen at school does not mean there’s nothing to it, because many times children will put on a “game face” if they don’t feel safe to be themselves.

 

 

#6 The genetic factor

Research tells us that brain-based disorders can be highly genetic. This is an important aspect to record and important for a doctor to know. Take a look at your own history and your child’s other parent—perhaps there is a diagnosis or maybe there have been symptoms but no official diagnosis. In either case, it’s important to remember it’s not your fault if this was passed along to your child.

 

 

 

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As parents of kids with bipolar, we can help improve body, mind and soul. Here’s a start:

 

 

#1 Be the sleep gatekeeper

Arguably one of the most important factors to regulating moods is sleep hygiene. And since most children are not in a position to self-regulate, it’s up to parents to help keep things on track. Start by thoroughly explaining the importance of sleep so he understands the need for a strict bedtime routine. Too much sleep or not enough sleep can both be problems, but they‘re also good indicators of a new mood episode being triggered. This is where a sleep journal comes in handy.

 

 

#2 Encourage movement

It’s normal for children with mood disorders to have either low energy or too much energy levels. Try and educate your child about the proven benefits that exercise will have on her symptoms, especially if she’s feeling low. Team sports are a great way to combine exercise and socializing. If that’s not possible, and if your child is having a difficult time getting the motivation, it may be necessary to take the reigns: suggest a family hike or bike ride or play some catch. The best part is: everyone benefits!

 

 

#3 Manage the menu

Children taking medication may have specific challenges when it comes to controlling appetite—some may have an increase and others may lose it altogether. The important thing is to ensure they get the proper nutrients while keeping weight in check (a critical point in order to keep a balanced glucose metabolism.) If appetite is difficult to control, you can ask your child’s doctor for a referral to a pediatric nutritionist.

 

 

#4 Control stress

Stress is the driver of so many things when it comes to a brain-based disorder, and can rapidly destabilize the moods of children and teens with bipolar. Look for ways that stress can be minimized or avoided; be a role model and work at reducing family conflict. Also, be aware of stressful events outside of the home, like your child’s school or with his peers and talk to him about how to manage such situations.

 

 

#5 Practice mindfulness together

It’s extremely beneficial for parents to first control stress in themselves and this will naturally transfer to their children. Many parents have reported much calmer children and less mood episodes when they participate together in mindfulness strategies, such as yoga and meditation. Quiet hikes or walks in the forest can be an extremely calming and grounding effect as well.

 

 

#6 Maintain routine

Having regularity in activities and structure is calming for children and teens with bipolar disorder. As much as possible, avoid disruptions to their schedule and when it can’t be helped, as in a family vacation, try to find soothing activities to ease the stress during these difficult times of the day.

 

 

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March 30, 2017 • Volume 10, Issue 13 • Subscribe to Hope & Harmony Headlines

 

It’s World Bipolar Day

With all the random magazine quizzes out there, it would be great to come across this one: “What do you really know about bipolar disorder?” There’s so much misinformation and so many misperceptions out there, we need every event like World Bipolar Day that we can get.

World Bipolar Day, which is observed annually on March 30, has this mission statement: “Stigma is a reality for people with bipolar disorder, it hinders their ability to achieve wellness. Our goal is bring to the world population information about bipolar disorders that will educate and improve sensitivity towards the illness.”

In a study of Argentinians with bipolar I or bipolar II, published in 2013, more than half believed that the average person is afraid of people who have a psychiatric diagnosis. French researchers who surveyed public attitudes toward bipolar disorder and other chronic brain-based disorders reported in 2012 that fewer than 70 percent of respondents from the general population could name specific characteristics of the illness—and most identified the media as their main source of information.

It’s not surprising that when bpHope blogger Gabe Howard wrote “What I Wish The World Knew About Bipolar,” he started with this: “I wish most people knew any actual fact about bipolar that wasn’t based on something they saw on TV.”

He doesn’t stop there, though, and his essay might be useful to pass around to the people around you or others you’d just like to educate. Read “What I Wish The World Knew About Bipolar” >>

 

A new book from Kay Redfield Jamison

If there were a Bipolar Hall of Fame, it would certainly include Kay Redfield Jamison, PhD. The highly respected academic has made huge contributions to destigmatizing what she prefers to call “manic depressive illness” in popular books like Touched With Fire and her memoir An Unquiet Mind.

Now she’s back in the media spotlight with a new book: Robert Lowell, Setting the River on Fire. The famous American poet serves as a case study for Jamison’s longtime interest in how mania, depression and creativity are related. The portrait she crafts is of a man whose extraordinary discipline enabled him to shape art from the ferment of mood episodes.

In her own life, Jamison’s fears about losing a perceived manic edge turned out to be absolutely false. She has said that committing to a medication regimen after a decade of tumult increased her creativity and productivity enormously. Read more about this hero in “Kay Redfield Jamison: Risk and Reward.” >>

 

Bipolar and Families – Different Approaches to Help (video)

Many times family members of those with bipolar disorder do not fully understand what their loved one is going through. Research has shown that education can be an invaluable tool in promoting the loved one’s response and support, thereby enhancing the recovery experience for the affected individual. Watch Karl Shallowhorn’s video blog >>

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By being public about their bipolar, these celebrities help others to understand the brain-based disorder.

 

 

#1 Jane Pauley

Jane Pauley, 66, is the new anchor of CBS Sunday Morning (after being a contributor since 2014). Pauley is best known for her 13-year tenure at The Today Show, followed by 11 years at NBC’s Dateline. We can’t forget her own talk show, The Jane Pauley Show, and her best-selling memoir, Skywriting (2004). Diagnosed at the age of 50, she is now a pioneer of beating the stigma of bipolar.

 

 

#2 Catherine Zeta-Jones

In 2011, the Oscar-winning actress revealed she had checked into a facility to treat her bipolar II disorder. Then in 2016, she sought additional treatment. Just prior to her hospitalization, Zeta-Jones was dealing with her husband Michael Douglas’s battle with cancer. Stress is a well-known trigger to either a manic or depressive episode. By the leading Hollywood actress putting a public face on her health issues helps to de-stigmatize brain-based disorders.

 

 

#3 Linda Hamilton

Although diagnosed in her 40s, Linda Hamilton has said she believes she has experienced symptoms of the disorder as a teenager, with extreme mood swings. She has said her father, a doctor, diagnosed himself as having bipolar disorder. Hamilton once described a manic episode as an amazingly brilliant time: “Sleep doesn’t seem necessary. You wake up feeling great. But it’s not all great feelings … the capacity for fighting, war, taking everything on, taking too much on, overachieving and then raging because my system was so depleted.”

 

 

#4 Demi Lovato

A platinum-selling recording artist Demi Lovato is now an advocate for people affected by mental health conditions, proving it’s possible to get through dark times and reach a place of strength. More recently, and in conjunction with Sunovion Pharmaceuticals Inc. and five leading mental health advocacy organizations, Lovato announced the release of the documentary Beyond Silence. She says the film “shines a light on the importance of hope in the face of adversity … only by speaking up together can we advance mental health in America.”

 

 

#5 Maria Bamford

Turning her pain into art has been therapeutic for Maria Bamford, who experienced a mental breakdown in 2010 that left her suicidal and in and out of psych wards. Whatever her professional future, Bamford is content with a quiet life at her L.A. home with Cassidy and their pug rescues Blueberry, Betty and Arnold. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been,” she says. “This is how people should feel.”

 

 

 

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Your child can lead a healthy, productive life with bipolar disorder. Here’s how to start the conversation:

 

 

#1 Check in with yourself first

Explore your own feelings about bipolar disorder or the term manic depression. Are there any issues present, biases or prejudices? Perhaps there’s someone from our past that we associate negatively. Sometimes, until we stop and think about it, we don’t realize we may have negative feelings toward a psychiatric disorder. The point is to everything clear in your mind first so you don’t subconsciously pass any negative feelings onto your child.

 

 

#2 Learn the facts

As much as possible, try to be completely prepared before having the conversation with your son or daughter. You can try to anticipate the questions and the fears he or she will have so you can be prepared with the answers, trying to be as positive and optimistic as possible. Your child will pick up your attitude and behavior.

 

 

#3 Explain the brain

In as much as your child can understand, try and explain the physiological definition of bipolar as a brain-based disorder – a brain that is physically structured differently from “the norm.” Also, you may want to pay attention to your terminology and focus on the fact that your child has a ‘brain-based disorder’ and is not ‘mentally ill’, which has a negative stigma in the public.

 

 

#4 Make a plan together

Explaining that bipolar disorder is a lifelong diagnosis, and that you will need to have a management plan for the present and for the foreseeable future. It makes sense to include your child on this strategy – making him feel part of the solution. While you can guide the conversation, know that if he feels he has a say in some of the management plan, he is more apt to follow through with the lifestyle changes and medicine adherence etc..

 

 

#5 Talk about what it all means

Just as it’s important to communicate the physical and emotional parts of the disorder and the management plan, you will need to discuss the social aspects with your child as well. Explain the types of stigma that still surround bipolar, but let her know that it’s getting better. Perhaps you can talk about positive role models she recognizes in popular culture that are speaking in public about it. You can even help with suitable statements or answers as rebuttals to questions from friends.

 

#6 More than their diagnosis

Kids may need to hear that bipolar doesn’t define who they are and it that shouldn’t control your lives. One idea is to make a list of all the amazing attributes your child has because he has bipolar. Whether it’s increased creativity, a larger emotional capacity, being passionate about life or getting things done at certain times. Yes, you’ll need to talk about the not-so positive side as well, but you’ll have a plan for handling those things.

 

 

#7 Movie night

When it’s time, find an appropriate-aged movie that depicts bipolar disorder in a way that is both honest and positive. Watch together so you can talk about everything out in the open. Making an “information” night also an entertaining one strengthens your honest relationship with your child.

 

 

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